Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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