The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
