I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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