You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
