Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My penis needs a shock collar
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
