remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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