Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
