i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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