I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
