I am midnight drunk by noon
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
