Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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