naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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