Screwed.edu
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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