put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize