the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
