If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
