I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
