How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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