So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
