I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
