I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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