am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
