Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
