I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
