Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
