So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
