would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
