Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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