it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hippo gnu deer
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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