I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
