I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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