how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My dick has a subreddit
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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