you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
