Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
two words: eviction party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
