I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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