I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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