Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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