I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
