Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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