Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
