We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
