he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm really busy with my period
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