Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
