I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Who died my cat blue again?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
