Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
