I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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