Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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