sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
