okay pat passed out under dana's car
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
