Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
