this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
