but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
