I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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